Realisation.

Nice girls always finish last.
I’m caught in this rut. It’s of a circular nature.
Circles never end.

I’m one of those people who are too nice for their own good. I give people the benefit of the doubt, I try to think positively at all times. I always go out of the way for my friends.

I volunteer in my free time to feed homeless people and hand out free warm clothing to them in winter.
I run a vegan bakestall that raises money to prevent animal cruelty and depression,
If a friend is in need, I will drop everything I am doing to help them out.

I turned down a high paying job to accept a much lower paid teaching job – because i want to make a difference. I feel like I am.

However – I feel like I am missing out.
I have so much to give. So much love. So much emotion. I am such a romantic at heart. 
Yet the search for a suitable partner seems impossible.

I’m not one of those girls who gets drunk and parties lots. 
I don’t sleep around. I don’t make out with multiple people in as many nights.
Yet these are the girls who seem to find love.

When will it be my turn.
My closest friends believe that whoever I end up with will be amazing and completely worth the wait… but the more time that passes, the more my faith dwindles and my fears of being single and lonely into old age continue.

Sure I’ve been asked out by guys, however if they do drugs, get drunk all the time, are promiscuous, have control issues or are just egotistical or selfish… then I have said no. 
And then… it seems no one is left.

Does a true nice man exist?

And if he does… would he love me?

 

Currently listening to Jimmy Eat World

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