Posts Tagged ‘alcohol’

No Roosters, Just Hens..

We helped fellow team mate Tash, celebrate her last night of singleness last night, in the hired upstairs of Carnegies. The theme was wigs, so we all looked incredibly tacky in our shiny synthetic dos.

Our car all became blondes, and poor Hayls had to hobble, as when she and I had filled in for a lower team yesterday, she had rolled her ankle and it was seriously HUGE!
No drinking for her… or dancing either (except for her occasional chair dance moves).

The $700 was exhausted by 9pm. at 9:30pm they let the general public up, and now there were lots of men.. and some very drunken wig girls around.
I escourted Kat to the bar, where she started talking to some boys whilst I was getitn sodas… I thought it was kinda weird she was being so friendly as she is engaged and getting married soon. Little did I know, she was trying to pick them up for me. ha ha ha.
I was so oblivious. Not keen though. Too soon!

Was a decent night.. Our carload were the sober, respectable girls of the evening, but we still ripped up the floor and had a good time.
It’s our club day today, and we gotta be there at 11:30am to set up at Perth Hockey Stadium. Our match is at 6pm. It’s gonna be a long day, and hopefully most of our team still won’t be drunk for the Hen’s night, by the time we have to play.

Ps. Our goalie is DEAD. She woke me before 8:30am this morning…
Revenge will be sweet,

Once upon a time in Mexico

The Wasps had a party.

I got to play bar wench, with my fellow members of the LNTDC.. Tom and B..

Highlights or standouts of the night was the the Nude Mile, boat racing between teams, some of the dancing, trying to do complicated fitness stretches at 4:30am, throwing chairs into trees, lighting the big outdoor gas heaters indoors and sitting around them like it was a bonfire and the costumes..
Of course a Wasps function wouldn’t be complete without the notorious vuvezela or four…

Lowlights included a douche named Hardy, Hayley putting the alarm on without locking the clubhouse at around 6am, clean up the next morning – although it was a fun crew and good to compare stories, and being unable to keep things with Los Angeles purely to a friend zone – which we had agreed on in order to make him leaving easier, despite him leaving for good in a few hours to care for his terminally ill grandfather.

The Underdogs

It was a freezing cold Saturday night, and we (Wasps Ladies Premier Alliance) were scheduled to play a tough match against the current league leaders UWA at 8:30pm.

Seriously… what a way to spend a Saturday night! As if that wasn’t bad enough, it was the evening of our club social, which started at 7. Hopefully it would still be going, once we had finished.

With our regular coach Jooce in South Africa working for Guiness at the World Cup, our bootcamp fitness coach, Boxy, stepped up for his first match as coach for the season. His inspiring words for us were

“It’s freezing, it’s a saturday night, we didn’t come here to f**king lose”

We knew that UWA would be fast and fit. We knew we were embarking on a battle.
We went down a goal in the first ten minutes. It was really unlucky, however we didn’t lose heart. We kept our heads up, and managed to make sure that was the only thing that would find the back of the box for that half.

We tackled hard, we talked loudly and made some hard yards.
Meanwhile we were getting egged on by my rent a crowd, John and Sarah, who had chosen this icey cold night to support us.
So with wine in their bellies to warm them up, they got rowdier and rowdier as the game progressed.

Second half was just as tough as the first one, and we still held strong.
We had begun chanting,

“Can the Wasps Win? YES WE CAN!”
to the tune of Bob the Builder.

We were itching for it.

With 15 minutes to the end of the match we finally equalised with them. It was magnificent. Now we really were in with a chance.
With a new bounce in our step, we pushed.
We found energy we didn’t think we had. We ran faster, tackled harder, yelled louder.

We wanted this.

2 minutes to go, there was a fumble in the midfield. Tash was under pressure and made a desperate attempt to get the ball to me, where I was standing just short of the half way mark.

I knew I only had one person behind me, and I saw 3 UWA players charging in my direction.
I was in a tight spot, and my thought was, don’t let them get the ball, because then they’d score.

I saw a gap up ahead, and did a hard strong pass, straight through it, and it was heading straight for the goals.
It travelled almost hald the field, where our centre forward sniffed it with her stick, claiming the deflection and hearing the thud of the ball in the back of the goals.

We’d scored, with 2 minutes to spare, against all odds.

We hugged, we high fived, we celebrated, we screamed in delight, and then we focused on protecting our lead for the duration of the game, which we did.

What a win! What an achievement!

We headed back to the club elated, and ready to celebrate, where we found our boys already drunk and keen to go out.
So I got dragged out by ten boys into the city, being the only girl to have a goodnight out.

Between you and me, things got hectic.

So many fines are going to be processed, and I’m making sure I avoid certain boys when they have been drinking, unless I’m looking for the hookup.

We left the city about 5ish, and i was to drop one of them off at his home, where I got held hostage in my car for an hour and a half. He was trying to get personal information out of me, but I was stubborn. He then was trying to get me inside his house to “spoon”. Again I was stubborn.
Eventually his bladder made him retreat and I could head home, at an unpleasant 7:30am. I had seen the sun rise.

Oh what a night!

The boys warming up, at the club, before hitting the city


So last year Break Even were luckily enough to be offered the Asian leg of the Have Heart Tour, as well as the Australian leg.

So off we headed, ASIA!
As you you probably already know, this was Have Heart’s last overseas tour, before breaking up.
They played in KL and in Singapore.
KL was an overnighter trip, so we were based in Singapore and stayed at the notorious VM’s house. Hi VM!
So there was BE, Hartley, myself, Stefan’s gf and another girl all crammed into Vm’s apartment.
Good times.

The weather was fantastic, the food cheap – the boys loved the fact that street drinking was legal, and we had a sweet time with the HH boys.

The funniest thing was not Stefan getting busted naked, mounting a concrete dolphin at a swimming pool by security guards, when the pool had been closed for the night, but how all the locals thought that Hartley was Nick from Miles Away.

The whole time we played it up. Called him Nick, mentioned MA as much as we could.
The locals frothed.

We took advantage.
Here’s a clip showing just how far we all took it.

Campsite 3

We resided at Yardie Homestead for the remainder of the trip.
Princess informed us there would be lots of hot kite surfers staying at the camp site, and there were indeed lots of kite surfers staying there, but they were all middle aged and certainly not attractive in that sense. Disappointing.

Pocket however had an admirer. They connected over both having visited an obscure aboriginal town somewhere in the northern territory. He was in his early thirties, and poor pocket is a mere 19.
Safe to say, we made fun of her and her beau the whole trip.

It was good being in semi civilisation – it was so good to be able to have a shower again, and to be able to cook on barbeques and OH THE TOILETS!



Stay away from our camps food


Barbeque Feast


Our group drank Exmouth dry of Seeds and Stones. No Joke. Not bad for 5 girls


The Hill's Campsite


This seemed like luxury, but it really wasn’t. We made enemies with the people behind us (an old couple) one morning, but by evening we were all good again.

We got told off by the homestead owners for driving too fast (Han and Rez) but then they came and donated money to us.

We hung out with the kite surfers in the back back shed.. and I read one of the weirdest books, storywise. The amount of dodgy sex scenarios clearly displayed it was a male author who had written it.

The Hills were also at Yardie, and we spent some time with them. The kids were so cute.

Whilst at this campsite we visited the beach (so predictable), went crabbing (none were harmed or eaten – don’t worry), saw some Full Moons (the actual moon and too many bare bottoms)


Late night = Encounter with the crabs


Teaching the lil ones the way of the crab












We went for an epic day trip to Yardie Creek (at the very end of the road in the Cape Range National Park) where we were a procession of the following. 1 x kayak, 1 x inflatable boat, 5 x stand up paddle boards.


I was in the inflatable paddle boat. This thing took a lot of muscle to move, and it was very slow and hard to control. When the wind picked up I thought I might die of exhuastion.


We stopped for a picnic lunch, where we got told off, for going onto land, as it was apparently a rock wallaby's protected eating area. DARN


We were told off by a boat with a megaphone, in front of many many tourists.







A vulture circling around me. I'm a sitting target







Did lots of roo dodging (always), Hannah had her windscreen smashed in (by flying stones) and then it was just about time to head back to good ol Perth.


This time, we decided to part ways for the home trip, as one car is slow and stops a lot, and the other car likes to zoom ahead. What happened on the trips however were not so straight forward.

Will your bloke smoke away your child’s future?

Now by now we should all know about the consequences of drinking and smoking and taking drugs as a pregnant female. I have never been pregnant, and yet it has been instilled into my brain to not undertake these “pleasures” during such a sensitive time.

It is proven to damage the fetus and will cause permanent long term damage to the child.
What you probably didn’t know is the impact that they father can have.

I have learnt this information from having a lengthly discussion with the psychologist at work.
If they father smokes weed or alternatively consumes it (and it is in the system of conception – remember that weed stays in a person’s system a lot longer than alcohol), it will cause irreversible damage in the child.
These include

Learning Disabilities
Mental Disorders
Drug and Alcohol Addiction
And sometimes even physical defects.

Please take note of this information, especially if you are planning on having kids. Let the pot smokers that you know, be aware of this information. This world is a pretty shit place as it is, let’s not have non informative people make it even more difficult for their future children to have to cope.

You should also know that by smoking you are destroying your own braincells (which can never be replaced) as well as improving your chances of getting severe depression and forming learning disabilities yourself. Be smart and look after yourself please. Most of you who read this, I love dearly..

Thanks for reading.


So many people I know are reliant on alcohol. You ask them what they got up to on the weekend, and whether or not it was good, and the common response is “I was trashed man… it must have been good”.
They don’t even remember.  Not only that, but then they can’t do so many other things throughout the week, because they spent 200+ dollars on alcohol in one night. Crazy.

I used to feel awkward being one of the only sober ones at gatherings, parties and pubs. Now I really cherish it. This past year, i have had the most amazing conversations with people about important issues which has completely blown my mind. Purely because of the timing and location.

Going to Hot Damn after the AA Hc08 show, I had 3 impacting conversations with people from Melbourne and Canberra. Who cares, that everyone around us was trying to get drunk and tune anything that walked past of the opposite sex. I didn’t. I’m really glad that they didn’t either, although two of them did later on that evening.

On Saturday, I went along to a party with a friend where there was a bar tab, and it was mostly guys, so naturally there was a multitude of drunken party animals. One guy there even managed to smash 6 wine glasses over his own head, and was still walking around, and trying to drink some more. In the middle of all of this confusion, I got to connect (no – nothing suss or romantic ha ha) with this great guy friend I know, and actually talk about worthwhile stuff.

I hope that in the future, many more circumstances will happen, when I least expect them. I hope that more people open up their hearts, and look to making a positive change. I hope that a lot of people I know, cut down on the booze, and realise they are worth more than the poison that floods their veins on a weekly, sometimes even daily basis.

 Ps. I’m not always all about deep conversation… ha ha.. I still have the worst sense of humour and love a good dance 🙂